reflecting on an empty life

What a broken world we live in. It amazes me to look around and see how all that God created for us, in its perfection, has been screwed up by our own rebellion, stupidity and ignorance. And I am no exception.

what am I doing?what do I believe?what really matters?how am I going to impact this falling apart world for Christ?and when am I going to do it?Time is fleeting, and I am letting it slip through my fingers.

Tonight has been a serious time of reflection for me.

Whose praise am I seeking?
What master do I serve?

I have to reassess. I have to refocus. I have to do it now.

I am serving my flesh, my lusts, my impurities.
I am serving man's praise and recognition.
I am serving success.


I am serving everything but what really matters.


And that saddens me, scares me, and angers me all at once. I cannot go on like this - I have to rediscover the first love of my life, my Savior and the fulfilled and incredible life I can live in Him. I miss the intiimacy with God that I used to have and wonder how I could have fallen so far away so quickly. I long to rediscover that love, that joy. And yet I know that God has not changed - it is me who needs to return to Him, not the other way around.

My prayer tonight is for brokenness, for understanding, for sincerity and for honesty - with myself, with my friends and most importantly with my God.

"Now therefore fear the LORD and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:14-16

May I stop trading what God has given me for the things of the world. Step up to the plate and seize the relationship, the opportunities and the life that He has waiting for me!

that's all. and that is enough. it HAS to be.