Weird me...

Man, the past month has been one of ups and downs, far too many downs in the equation, too - as usual! It's been such an encouragement for me to meet each week with our little OPAS Bible study group - whether that's four of us, or sometimes just two. It's really cool to see how God is using that for His glory! I've also had more opportunities to talk to many of my OPAS friends about my faith and about Christ in general, and that's unexpected, and highly encouraging too! Speaking of OPAS, things continue to improve, conflicts continue to resolve, and I am continuing to see an OPAS so much more like the one that I saw when I joined it six years ago. And talk about encouraging - that's at the top of that list! I finished student teaching a week ago, and that was a great experience. I miss my kids, my teacher, and yes, even some of those crazy folks I worked with each day. :)

So what's my problem? My attitude is like a roller coaster. One day I am higher than I've ever been - praising the one who made me, shouting His truth from the rooftops and loving life. The next, I'm down in the dumps, missing terribly my friends, wanting to be able to help my sister whose child is due any day now, wishing I could be there for my grandmother, who in her confused mind stays angry and upset almost constantly, yelling at her caregivers and making her move to the retirement community so much more difficult. I look at myself in the mirror and see a man fatter than I've been in a year - and while I manage to eat healthily and even this week to begin to work out again, I can't seem to change things, and even find myself gorging my face at times, not even because I am hungry, but just because eating is something to do - and something I can do alone (a position I find myself in far too many times these days). And to top it all off, I'm struggling again with some of the same sins that I've struggled with in the past - things I thought, things I hoped and prayed, were in my past.

I don't mean to sound like I'm throwing myself a pity party...It's really not that bad. I guess I need to just suck it up - go make new friends, stop eating what I shouldn't, stop complaining, stop doing things I know I shouldn't and move forward with my life.

All this to say that I guess the problem is simply that growing up sucks. And maybe what sucks even more is being caught in between growing up and not. While I don't regret my decision to stick around as OPAS chair for another year, and I still believe with all my heart that it's what God wants me to be doing, I must say and admit that it ain't the walk in the park that I thought and hoped it would be. Surprise surprise. I should know by now things rarely are.

that's all.

My encounter with J.A.

So back when I was student teaching (I say that like it was FAR longer ago than last week that I was doing that) I had a student who I'll call J.A. He was a great guy, really funny, chronically tardy, a bit "informal" with his writing (I suppose I could put it) and totally and completely into all kinds of world religions. He intrigued me, and still does...and I often wished I could hear from him about his religious beliefs. Well as it turns out, today as I went to vote (at a MUCH delayed, and more than slightly random time from my original intent) I ran into J.A. at the polling place - I was absolutely shocked to see him there, and just thought it was cool. We exchanged "hello's" and then proceeded to the polls. I hung around outside the elementary school library where we voted long enough to talk to him briefly.

He came out and after some brief banter, he was like "so what did you vote for?"

I played stupid and said, "a couple of things."

"Well we all know what we came here to vote on, I mean, I only voted for one thing."

I didn't really want to go into my vote - I feel strongly that it's a personal thing, but he retorted with, "I mean, I guess since we're not 'teacher' and 'student' inside of the classroom anymore, we can talk about our beliefs"

My interest was piqued. "All right, what would you like to talk about?"

What ensued was an almost hour long discussion about our stances on the marriage issue, various religious ideas, etc. And no fewer than three times was I able to lay out the gospel to him...what my Christianity means to me, what I belive, why I believe it, how it has affected me, how it can affect others, why I think it's the only truth, and on and on it went! IT WAS SO AWESOME!! Man, earlier today I was talking with Kelly Adams from OPAS about the need for boldness in my sharing the gospel, and then 3 hours later God drops one of my students into my path, and there is NO doubt in my mind that God orchestrated the timing, a student who I had made a really cool connection with in the classroom, and who is looking for truth, and who was genuinely interested in what I had to say.

It is such a reminder to me how excitingly exhilarating sharing your faith can be - I only pray that I can do it more and more and that I will have continued boldness and trust that God will give me both the opportunities and the words to do so!

Dude, GOD IS AWESOME!!

that's all.